Forgiveness

 

We’re no doubt all familiar with feuds.  In America there was the notoriously long-running feud between the Hatfields and the McCoys from the mid-1800s in the Appalachian Hills – in which many lost their lives.  An earlier feud between the MacDonald and the Campbell clans in Scotland led to the Glencoe Massacre in 1692.  The Campbells slaughtered many of the MacDonalds and many more died from cold and exposure as they fled.  But on a smaller scale there’s the many garden variety family feuds that we’re all familiar with, where Auntie Flo hasn’t spoken to her brother, Uncle Jack, for more years than either of them care to remember.  Or the two brothers who have not spoken for years due to a failed business partnership.  I recall a funeral, at which I officiated, where one side of the family glared at the other side of the family across the open grave of their mother.  And there was the funeral where a son giving the eulogy took it as an opportunity to have swipe at some of his siblings.

A huge factor in such family feuds is an inability to forgive.  The respective factions are so full of bitterness and hate that all thy can think of is payback, revenge and maintaining their rage.  It’s surely an undisputed fact that forgiveness does not come easily to us human beings.  Too often we hear the cry, “Forgiveness?  No way!  I’ve been too deeply hurt!”  So, at best the resentment smoulders on for years; at worst it erupts in angry words and sometimes even angrier deeds.  Such family feuds can even drag on for generations – as did the one between the MacDonalds and the Campbells.

Jesus once told a parable about an unforgiving servant to illustrate that we who have been forgiven such a huge debt by the Lord God ought also to forgive those whose sins against us are so very trivial in comparison.  In the parable the servant had a huge debt that he would never be able to repay.  When the master called him to account and threatened to throw him in prison for his debt, he begged for mercy.  And he received it too.  But when that man left the master’s presence he bumped into a fellow servant who owed him just a few dollars.  He demanded payment and threatened his fellow servant with incarceration in a debtor’s prison.  Jesus tells us how the Master, when he heard of it, called that servant back in – and then we get that very telling statement: “You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.  And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you?”

The point is that forgiveness of others does not come naturally to us and it’s only when we have an appreciation for what we ourselves have been forgiven by the Lord God that we are able to also forgive others.

There was a powerful example of that in the news lately.  In suburban Sydney in 2020 Samuel Davidson was speeding in his Ute while three times over the legal alcohol limit and high on drugs.  He ran a red light, lost control of his vehicle, mounted the footpath and careened into a group of children walking to the shop to buy ice-creams.  Three Abdallah siblings, Antony (13), Angelina (12) and Sienna (8) together with their cousin Veronique (11) were killed instantly.  It would be natural to expect their parents to be consumed by bitterness and rage.  But the mother, Leila, appeared on national television and said, “If Jesus can forgive, we have to forgive.”  Her husband, Danny has spoken to Samuel Davidson in prison – more recently often on a weekly basis.  Just recently the Channel 7 program, Spotlight, aired a record of their meeting in the maximum security correctional centre where Samuel is incarcerated.  Danny was recorded as saying, “I’ve 100% forgiven Samuel for killing the children.  Completely!  There’s not 1% of anger.  Disappointment?  Yes!  But I can’t sit in that place.  I’ve accepted what’s happened.”  The wonderful thing is that Danny’s offer of forgiveness has dramatically transformed Samuel’s life.  The video of the program, available on YouTube, is well worthwhile watching.

So here’s the answer to your family feuds.  Extend forgiveness instead of maintaining your rage and seeking revenge.  If you find that difficult to do then maybe you need to ask yourself whether you’ve really experienced the Lord God’s forgiveness of you.

John Westendorp
2MaxFM Sun Aug 24th 2025